An independent panel of experts (ie the team in Mark Parnell’s office) has cast its votes for the inaugural Honourable Awards, in recognition of the people and events of 2016 that proved it has never been a better time to be a South Australian.
The envelope please…
The Plagiarism Award (aka “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery”)
Winner: SA Liberal Leader, Steven Marshall MP
The Libs might have been a bit slow, but they finally realised the Greens have the best policies on both nuclear waste dumps and on fracking for gas. We’re happy for them to steal more of our policies, any time.
The Own Goal Award
Winner: Nuclear Royal Commission
The undisputed winner was Former Governor of South Australia, Rear Admiral the Honourable Kevin Scarce AC CSC RAN (Rtd) and his team for:
a) Using conflicted nuclear lobbyists to help prepare the “business case” for the nuclear waste dump and then relying on them almost entirely to justify the dump;
b) Refusing to allow critics of the nuclear industry to give evidence before the Commission; and
c) Ignoring the history of nuclear failures, accidents, cost over-runs, time blow-outs and general stuff ups that dominate the industry - and just might have been vaguely relevant to its deliberations.
The Premature Denunciation Award
Joint Winners: Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull, Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce, Federal Minister for the Environment and Energy Josh Frydenberg, and Senator Nick Xenophon
When a massive storm event including multiple tornadoes ripped through South Australia in September, it brought down several major transmission lines and not surprisingly, the lights went out. Our four proud winners were first out of the blocks to blame renewable energy in general, and wind farms in particular.
The Yes Minister Award (aka “never set up an inquiry if you don’t already know the outcome”)
Winner: Premier Jay Weatherill
Jay thought the Nuclear Citizens’ Jury would give him the go-ahead to pursue an international nuclear waste dump in SA. Instead, the verdict by a vote of 70% was “No, not under any circumstances!”
The Potty Mouth Award
Joint Winners: Tom Koutsantonis MP and Ian Hunter MLC
We’re grateful to Tom for introducing us to the concept of “conversational swearing” as an acceptable form of social discourse. Ian earnt his gong for mouthing off at fellow Water Ministers before cooling off with an ice cream.
The Zombie Award
Winner: Leigh Creek Energy Ltd (formerly known as Marathon Resources Ltd)
Just when you thought it was safe to venture outdoors again, the infamous Marathon Resources Ltd went to the Temple (Stock Exchange) and was reborn as Leigh Creek Energy Ltd. The vandals of Arkaroola have come back to haunt us with plans for Underground Coal Gasification. How to stuff up the local environment and the climate in one easy lesson. Classy stuff!